| 1
| Putting your foot into a hole when stopping. |
| 2
| Putting your foot down on something slippery when
stopping. |
| 3
| Locking the front wheel during overenthusiastic
braking. |
| 4
| Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass. |
| 5
| Not putting the kickstand down when getting off. |
| 6
| Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high
throttle. |
| 7
| Not putting a board ('foot')under the kickstand on asphalt on a
hot day. |
| 8
| Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who
have never been on a bike. |
| 9
| Forgetting the bike's in gear when you jump on the
kickstarter. |
| 10
| Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet
on pegs when the light turns green, but the bike's in neutral. |
| 11
| Not putting your foot down when stopping at red
light. |
| 12
| Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand. |
| 13
| Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves,
stop at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because you've lost
feeling in your hands. |
| 14
| Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick
layer of grease that builds up when cars stop. |
| 15
| Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll
booth. |
| 16
| Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the
side of the road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in winter.) |
| 17
| Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it
bounce back up instead of staying down. |
| 18
| Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting
that is in gear. |
| 19
| Trying to kickstart your first bike over and over because
you didn't realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy
metal ring on the side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you
(and the bike) to go over on the right side. |
| 20
| Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike,
riding around an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to the
right and accelerating to wheelie over the curb onto the street and _then_
discovering that you hadn't unlocked the steering-lock... |
| 21
| On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside
your jeans as you come to a stop... |
| 22
| Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting
your running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which
is why I now automatically pull in the clutch whenever deploying or
retracting the stand.) |
| 23
| Having "green" racing linings which have much higher
coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum
when you've not ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the
brakes on against the throttle to wear off the rust. |
| 24
| Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that's so smooth you
think you're in second when you're actually in first, so you spin out when
the undercarriage touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you
think, "just a bit more throttle will help here..." |
| 25
| Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light,
thinking it's in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike
wheelies and backflips into intersection. |
| 26
| Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean waaay
over to the side to look at something on the ground while at a stop sign. |
| 27
| Wife gets foot caught on saddlebag while getting on
before you. |
| 28
| Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full
gas away from a stop. |
| 29
| Bald tires, and a smatter of rain. |
| 30
| Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather
than through the turn. |
| 31
| Neither you nor your dad watching while he's backing his
car up to the woodpile to unload wood. |
| 32
| Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the
way in and then trying to put the bike on the center stand. |
| 33
| Trying to hold the bike upright before deploying the
center stand only to find your knees are too weak from riding. |
| 34
| Park behind friend's mom's minivan figuring "If anybody
goes anywhere, they'll surely see it. 'specially since there'll
be 5 of them getting into the van. |
| 35
| After getting fuel at gas station and
holding the bike level with your legs in order to fill it completely, jumping off
forgetting that your legs were holding it upright not the kickstand. |
| 36
| Entering a DR ("decreasing radius")
turn too fast. This is especially dangerous when
making a right turn where if you attempt to straighten up and brake,
you'll plow into oncoming traffic. |
| 37
| Trying to countersteer (or
wheelie) your shaft driven bike? [Obviously the person who posted this
doesn't have a clue.] |
| 38
| Getting your boot/ shoelace
caught on the gearshift. (I wear laceless boots now.) |
| 39
| Attempting to kick start a
cantankerous '84 CR500, whilst standing on a picnic table
bench, and she *kicks* back! |
| 40
| Getting pissed off for dropping it in the first place,
yanking it vigorously off the ground, only to have it drop to the
_other_ side. |
| 41
| Pulling out the swingarm stand, and forgetting to put
the sidestand down first. |
| 42
| Backing down an inclined driveway, turning to either
side with a full tank of gas. |
| 43
| Taking the bike
off the centerstand and forgetting the sidestand. |
| 44
| Riding on wet grass with street tires (Almost as bad as
ice!!) |
| 45
| Riding on wet asphalt with dirt tires (Almost as
bad as ice!!) |
| 46
| *Thinking* the kick stand was down when it wasn't. |
| 47
| Kick stand slowly burying itself in hot asphalt. |
| 48
| Kick stand slowly burying itself in soft ground. |
| 49
| Backing up perpendicular to a steeply sloped driveway
and attempting to put your foot down on the downhill side while on a large
bike with a high seat. (By the time your foot reaches the ground the bike
is so far off center balance you won't be able to hold it up.) |
| 50
| Backing your bike down a plank, by yourself, from the
bed of a pickup truck. Works great as long as you remember that once you
start moving, stopping for any correction is out of the question. Get two
people to stand on each side of you and the bike. |
| 51
| Losing your balance when coming to a stop because of
fatigue from a long trip. The wind and the buzz of the bike induces an
unexpected case of vertigo. Stop often and rest. |
| 52
| Riding beyond your limits while trying to keep up with
someone who is probably riding beyond their own. Always a temptation.
The best riders/racers understand and use discipline when riding. |
| 53
| Not paying attention. Always strive to anticipate
what could possibly go wrong and be planning what you're going to do when it
happens, eventually it will - and you'll be ready, instead of surprised
when you're much more likely to do something stupid and reactionary. |
| 54
| Assuming that all wet roads are created equal. They are
much more slippery when it first starts to rain - until the oil and dirt
are washed away. |
| 55
| Assuming that the condition of a blind corner is the
same as it was the last time you rode it. Instead you find sticks, road
kill, oil, rain wash, stones, pot holes, garbage, etc. |
| 56
| Not understanding how to get set-up for a corner when
pushing the limits. In most cases the bike could have made the corner but
the rider decided it couldn't and while in a panic attempted to correct the
situation with the brake. WRONG! MSF course will discuss this at
length. |
| 57
| Riding without all of the protective equipment because I
forgot to bring it and after all it was just this one time. Turned out to
be the wrong time! I forgot my MX boots and fell on a steeply banked
corner and the foot peg attempted to drill into the back of my right calf.
On crutches for 3 weeks with a deep bruise. |
| 58
| Using a little too much power turning the first corner
after you've put on new tyres (with that nice slippery release compound on
them). |
| 59
| Being too short for the bike you're riding, and coming
to a stop sign. |
| 60
| Your rider hops on before you are ready. |
| 61
| Pushing your bike into the garage and letting it get
leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it to the
ground. |
| 62
| Pulling off both fork caps while the bike is on its
centerstand. |
| 64
| Park pointing downhill, don't leave it in
gear. |
| 65
| Park with sidestand facing up hill, sidestand is too
long. |
| 66
| Allow friend to ride bike that has
either no riding experience, or only tiny dirtbike
riding experience (they will wheelie out of control, fly
straight at the nearest object, or
drop it attempting to stop
suddenly.) |
| 67
| Pulling into Dairy Queen and slipping on a spilt
chocolate malt. |
| 68
| Sitting on your bike on an inclined driveway talking to
a very pretty girl, forgetting where in the hell your mind is and then
noticing that it's already too close to the ground to stop. |
| 69
| Change rear-end oil on a shaft drive bike, spill 90w on
tire, don't clean it up and then make a really sharp turn out of the
driveway. *Splat* |
| 70
| Parking your bike so that it stands upright with the
kickstand down and then having a slow leak in the rear tire which causes
the kickstand to push the bike over. |
| 71
| Running into a bus after a 120mph+ high speed chase
where there is helicopter pursuit and you are being taped by 5 local news
stations. |
| 72
| Spending 3 hours washing and waxing your bike and then
stepping back to admire it with some buddies and then watch it fall right
off its side stand while it was warming up. |
| 73
| Pushing it over. |
| 74
| Covering it with a windsail (aka canvas cover) and
letting the wind push it over. |
| 75
| Unbolting too many components from the back so that
the bike falls off the jack. |
| 76
| Having an internally rusted CX500 centre stand
come apart whilst putting the bike onto it. |
| 77
| Discovering when you stop and try to put your
foot down that the kickstart lever is up your pantleg. |
| 78
| Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it
on an inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the incline. |
| 79
| Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the
end, and realizing a little too late that the downside is just a _little_
steeper than you thought. |
| 80
| Whacking the throttle open on the highway when you think
there's no cop around then slowing to normal speed again only to realize
that a trooper has been trying to catch up with you for two miles and he's
pissed so he decides to run you off the road because he thinks you were
trying to run away from him, even though you explain to him that if you
were trying to run that he wouldn't have caught you then getting out of any
ticjet because *@!!$#, uh I nean cop, felt bad even though he never said
"I'm sorry" . . . .but I'm not bitter. |
| 81
| While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by
compression, jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor. |
| 82
| Successfully compression starting your bike while
running along side, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much
throttle! |
| 83
| Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the
ground falls away on the other side. |
| 84
| Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike
in 20+ years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel. |
| 85
| Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the
footrest. |
| 86
| Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike
with tight trousers on and kicking it over. |
| 87
| Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold
weather..tuh!) |
| 88
| Riding short distances side-saddle fashion. |
| 89
| Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the
stated limit. |
| 90
| Reaching down to pick up your gloves/keys/glasses. |
| 91
| Paying too much attention to the tiltometer on your
valkarie. |
| 92
| Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill
covered in pine humus, then while getting it righted go over the down side
because it's too far of an angle to get a foot down. |
| 93
| Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered
in pine humus which is slipperier than sand. |
| 94
| Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the
neighbor kid with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear brake,
feeling the rear wheel slide as we headed straight for the barn, grabbing a
panicky handful of front brake, doing a slow highside despite dabbing
mightily, sliding right up to the barn door prone on the well-oiled bike
with my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say "Didn't
that thing used to be orange?" |
| 95
| kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow,
sharp turn in a parking lot. |
| 96
| Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from
the curb with haste...Tends to break the front caliper, too. |
| 97
| Falling asleep. |
| 98
| Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a
steep ramp into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he used to
ride a motorcycle, it turns out it was a 125 in Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the
way up the ramp, looks panicked, and his knees buckle. Crunch. |
| 99
| Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand
bank. |
| 100
| Trying to get a wasp or bee out of your jacket while
sitting on the bike. |
| 101
| Trying to start out in a quick turn (leaning in
anticipation of giving it throttle) and stalling it out because the engine
hasn't warmed yet - it's a nice, slow drop... |
| 102
| Forgetting to put in oil after an oil change. Starting
'er up, and wondering why the low oil pressure dummy light doesn't turn
off. |
| 103
| After a brake job, forgetting to pump the lever/pedal a
few times, and taking off, wondering why there's no brakes as you're coming
up on the intersection. |
| 104
| Having a mechanical gate close on you as you're trying
to ride through. |
| 105
| Hitting that patch of sand which has washed across the
road on a blind bend. |
| 106
| Absentmindedly putting the bike on the kick stand and
walking away before you check to see if the driveway is level. |
| 107
| Applying your usual amount of throttle but with a
passenger behind you ... "cool ... look at that plane". |
| 108
| Pushing your bike into a crowded garage, letting it get
leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it into your
vintage MG. |
| 109
| Popping a wheelie while showing off for a girl, almost
looping it, slamming on the rear brake to compensate, and passing out from
the bollocking several yards later. |
| 110
| Assuming the puddle of liquid behind the convenience
store was water when it was actually used motor oil. |
| 111
| Starting bike while habitually squeezing clutch lever,
standing to the left of the bike, remembering too late that the bike is in
gear. Realize too late that the choke gives the bike enough power to drag
you 30' across the parking lot in first gear. |
| 112
| On your third ride with your first ever bike. Stop at a
red light. When the light turns green, you have to start uphill, and turn
right at the same time. Somehow that overwhelmed me. |
| 113
| Parking on a bit of an incline (slopes down right to
left), having your left foot slip a little when getting back on the bike,
and slowly loosing your balance. |
| 114
| Let your buddy ride it. And if you are really stupid
let him ride it again. |
| 115
| Turning onto a busy street and in the middle of the turn
you suddenly remember that this street has trolley tracks. |
| 116
| Put armor all on your tires to make them look nice and
pretty and then ride on the white safety lane line as you take a HARD right
turn at 35mph. |
| 117
| Throw a party and get together with a random girl on
your bike in the garage while extremely drunk. |
| 118
| Pull into parking and failed to ensure proper extension
of the sidestand then with near perfect execution of the Laugh-in scene
where the bike topples over onto your leg, and you're going down, pinned
beneath. |
| 119
| Stop for gas, carefully shut off ignition and take key
out (to unlock tank), carefully remove helmet and set it over mirror,
carefully remove gloves and place on instruments, open jacket, step off
bike ... forgetting to put sidestand down. |
| 120
| With bike off, try to make walking U-turn in driveway.
Bike doesn't have necessary turning radius, front wheel leaves pavement
and goes into soft dirt. |
| 121
| The setting: Bikes at inside end of driveway, on
centerstands, facing away from front of driveway. Backing cage into
driveway ... slowly ... at about the right point, stop ... note that
cover on bike #1 is moving slightly ... notice bike #1 ever-so-slowly roll
forward off its centerstand, then sideways into bike #2. Bike #2 stands
there and takes it without falling ... but there's no way to get it to
lift #1. |
| 122
| Tweaking the front brake at a light as you JUST come to
a stop with the forks turned to either side at ALL on a top-heavy
bike. |
| 123
| Jump an old dirt bike over your parents' fence (use a
rramp to get enough height). Realize on the way down that you *don't* know
how to land. (I believe this was caused by "Adolescent Invincibility
Syndrome".) |
| 124
| Test-ride an Electra Glide Sport (OK, these days it
would have to be a Road King) around the old, cracked pavement in Brisbane
near the Cow Palace. |
| 125
| Have a BMW with the sidestand linked to the clutch
lever, so that pulling in the clutch retracts the stand. |
| 126
| Put the bike back together after waiting months since
the last crash for a part to arrive, and don't install fuel filters. Gas
tank rust clogs carburetor float needles, overflow tubes lube rear tire,
brake to avoid manhole cover in curve, the waited-for part is broken. |
| 127
| Park next to some %$#@ on a Triumph who leaves his
disclock on, and return to find your XV1100 with a few dents and a little
note saying 'Sorry' in the brake lever. (I left my phone number
too...) |
| 128
| While riding home the day after getting your shiny new
bike turn onto a dirt road and discover that they are in the process of
combing the road and your front tire is now sliding through four inches of
loose wet sand (Did I mention it was raining). While picking up your bike
be sure to grind plenty of sand into the tank. |
